Going Through Cancer Treatment Alone
Roughly 37 million adult Americans live alone, according to the United States Census Bureau, and that number is up by four million over the ten years between 2011 and 2021. These individuals are a cross section of people who are widowed, divorced, or never married. Each year, some of those 37 million Americans who live alone will be diagnosed with cancer.
Going through cancer treatment is never an easy process, but going through cancer treatment while living alone can further complicate something that is already complicated. While many adults both choose and prefer to live independently and away from others, it is important to recognize that while it is possible to remain living alone and independently during cancer treatment, it requires planning and support.
For adults who find themselves in this situation, one way to approach it is to think of the different types of needs they will experience during cancer treatment. Those are primarily medical, practical, and emotional. Being able to break down these needs that will be experienced is a way to help them remain manageable.
Medical Needs:
A patient’s medical team will be relied upon to help them navigate through a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Choose your treatment team wisely, seek second opinions if that is an option, and trust in their expertise and experience.
Patients should work to get a general understanding of their treatment and what it might look like. Ask questions to get informed about when the treatment will be strongest and what side effects could be expected. Make certain to prepare for that in advance and have some kind of plan in place.
Finally, everyone, but most especially patients who live alone, should arrange for a health care proxy who knows, understands, and can represent health care wishes in case of any emergencies.
Practical Needs:
Details are so important with cancer treatment and the amount of details to be managed can be overwhelming for someone who lives alone and is used to being self-sufficient. Reaching out for and accepting some help will probably be necessary at some point during treatment, but the need for help will most likely be temporary before returning to self-sufficiency.
Here are a few practical needs cancer patients will have:
Keeping the fridge, freezer and pantry stocked with food
Keeping emergency phone numbers for the medical team and next of kin accessible on a cell phone and visible somewhere in the home
Keeping a schedule for appointments, prescription refills, and what meds to take when handy and accessible
Look into making disability claims (short or long term), if unable to work through treatment
Give a key to a trusted friend, colleague, neighbor, or family member
Connect with a cancer wellness center to identify any volunteer services you are entitled to and how they might help
Identify the concrete needs that will crop up during cancer treatment, including things like rides to medical appointments, meals, laundry, shopping, housekeeping, errands, etc.
Identify a few emergency contacts and let them know about one another; most helpful is a work contact, a neighbor, a friend or a family member
Emotional Needs:
Cancer treatment can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and increased vulnerability. Living alone while going through cancer treatments will only compound this, but there are ways to limit the negative effects a patient who lives alone might feel.
Here are a few things people who live alone can do to cope with emotional needs during their cancer treatment:
Let your treatment team know about your living situation
Consider joining a support group, both to decrease isolation and to increase social opportunities
Continue to engage in hobbies and creative activities through your cancer treatment to remain connected with life outside cancer
Identify a few trusted confidantes who you can talk to about cancer, treatment, and any fears or worries you might have
Accepting offers of help will allow you to feel supported and connected while also managing the many details of cancer treatment
Be extra gentle with yourself during treatment
Dr. Srilata Gundala is a hematologist/oncologist and the owner and founder of Hope & Healing Cancer Services in Hinsdale, Illinois. She is experienced with caring for patients who live alone and has this advice, “Acknowledge your vulnerability and needs. It is very possible to go through cancer treatment while living independently, but that must include a plan for connection, support, and receiving help, even if temporary. All patients do better when they plan ahead, including and especially those who live alone.”
If you are a patient of Hope & Healing Cancer Services and live alone, a great place to reach out to for support is The Wellness House. Learn more about the partnership with this supportive organization HERE.
